LOVER'S CORNER

Romantic Questions to Ask Your Lover

Usually when you're in the company of the one you love, words come out quite effortlessly. But there can be times where words may fail to escape your mouth and then you'll just be sitting there all awkward, waiting for your date to say something. Well hey, there are streamlined ways to get out of that too.

 

In every relationship there comes a time when two people run out of things

to say. While this doesn't mean that the love is over or that they have nothing left to tell each other, it does mark a temporary uneasiness between two people. Sometimes, the conversation between two people becomes pretty boring. Running out of words may also happen to two people who have recently started dating. In which case they can use certain questions to learn a new aspect of their lover's personality and keep the conversation going! Because lets face it, despite having said all that about love not needing a language or words and all that, your dates will get really boring without a fun conversation!

Questions to Ask on a Date
What do you think is my most attractive personality trait?
What was your first impression about me?
What is your idea of an ideal date?
What would you not do for me? (a great, more realistic variation from the old 'what would you do for me?')
What are your views on French Kissing?
Is this your first time?
What song would you like to make love on?
What would be your dream holiday destination?
What would be the perfect gift?
Who would be your dream date?
What is your favorite cuisine?
What was your childhood like?
Are your parents home? (if they're not, 'you want me to come over?')
What was the best birthday gift you ever got?
What are your romance fantasies?
What is the one thing you hate about me and want me to change?
Which song/poem do you love the most?
What is the sexiest thing about me?
What do you love most about me?
What would you like me to call you as?
Which was the best date we've ever had?
If you could make love to me anywhere in the world, where would it be?
Fun Questions to Ask Your Lover
What would you do if you had US $100,000?
(Boys to Girls) What's your dad like?
(Girls to Boys) What's your mom like?
Who do you hate the most in this world?
What's the most outrageous thing you've ever done?
Who was your first crush? How old were you? (you'll be surprised at some of the answers!)
What is the funniest name you've ever heard?
Have you ever slept in a movie? Which one?
Which song irritates you the most?
If you could change your name/surname, what would you change it to?
Which is your favorite chocolate?
What is the funniest thing you've ever heard on the news?
What is your worst nightmare?
If we had the house to ourselves for three hours, what would you like to do?
According to you, which is the most boring TV show on air today?
Which country would you like to be the president of?
Which country would you never go to?
Have you ever stuck a chewing gum under a desk?
Don't you think kids are annoying?

 

Signs of an Abusive Man

Not only are abusive relationships painful but they are also very difficult to come out of. Here are some abusive men signs that each woman should be aware of as in most cases, by the time a woman realizes, she is already deep in an abusive relationship.

 

 

 

It all seems hunky-dory in the beginning. However, it's only when they have delved deeper into the relationship with their abusive boyfriend/husband, do women realize that all is not well in paradise. The sad truth about such relationships is that it is not so easy to read abusive men signs. Had that been the case, there wouldn't have been as many instances of women suffering in abusive relationships, as are reported every year. In fact, in the United States itself, there are as many as 4 million women who are abused by their partners, each year.

The problem of abusive relationships has two dimensions. Firstly, abusive men traits are not evident in the beginning. Secondly, in many cases, women are swept off their feet by statements like "You are the only one for me", made by men with an abusive streak. This confession is done with such conviction that the sun might rise from the west, but a woman in love with an abusive man can't disbelieve him. However, it's very important for every woman to be able to identify abusive men signs, so that they are able to handle the situation wisely, in case they find themselves involved with such men.

Why are Some Men Abusive?

In most cases, abusive men are victims of abuse themselves. It could have been physical, sexual or emotional abuse. This negatively affects their psychology and personality, and mars their ability to rationalize events, and even their abusive actions. For those, who have not been abused directly or have seen violence at home (for example, the mother being abused), it leaves a deep impact on their psychology. Such a sharp divide of power and 'say' in the family, often gives such men an impression that abuse against women is justified. Much of the reason, for this psychology, finds root in our socio-cultural milieu, in which male authority goes unquestioned.

Signs of Abusive Men

All said and done, the fact still remains that abuse by their male partners is a threat that every woman is susceptible to. The following are some of the tell-all abusive men signs.
Jealousy and Possessiveness: Jealousy and possessiveness are integral components of all abusive men stories. An abusive man will be overly possessive about his partner to the extent that he would fail to understand the relationship of his wife/girlfriend with her family or friends. He thinks that his partner is his property and refuses to recognize her as an individual. He may try to isolate his partner and be suspicious about her meeting her male friends or relatives.
Controlling Behavior: The story of abusive men and the women who love them is all about control. This is one of the most deceptive abusive men signs, as it is always cleverly hidden under the guard of 'concern' for you. An abusive man would want to control your finances, your job choices and even, the decisions regarding which friend you want to go out with. Be careful of such attitude. Initially, it may appear disarming, however, over time this very 'caring' attitude would become stifling.
Unrealistic Expectations: An abusive man would expect his partner to be the perfect wife, mother or girlfriend. He would expect her to provide for every need of his - financial, emotional or spiritual, and in case, she fails in any of her 'duties' as he sees them, he would criticize her insensitively.
Superiority: An abusive man is always right. That's what he thinks of himself. He would use this logic to justify any acts of violence that he commits. He would say "You made me angry, that's why I hit you."
Stereotyped Gender Roles: An abusive man would never see his partner as his equal. For him, she is always stupid and inferior. Hence, she should obey him and carry out all his orders, however illogical, inhuman or even, criminal they may be.
The Blame Game: Did he lose his job? Did he abuse you of late? He would always find a reason for the negative situations in his life. However, the catch is that he himself would never be the cause. He always blames others for his failure or abusive behavior, to the extent that he would hold you responsible for him reacting violently.
Erratic Mood Swings: Almost all women, who are victims of abuse by their partners, say that other than the episodes of abuse, their boyfriends or husbands are loving and gentle. In fact, they are apologetic and caring after the abuse has occurred.
Refuses to Seek Help: An abusive man has an unfailing belief that he is always right. Then, why should he seek help? He would never admit to his mistakes. Instead, he would put the blame upon his partner or his children.
Other Abusive Signs to Look For
History of violence towards his ex-partners
Disrespect towards women, even his mother and sister
Cruelty towards children and animals
Moves fast in his relationship
Dealing with an abusive man is very difficult. Despite this fact, abusive men and divorce do not occur together very commonly. It is because most women think that they can change their partner. In case you are one of such women, think twice. Abusive men traits can only be treated with long term therapy or counseling. But, it is so difficult to make abusive men agree to such treatment in the first place. He may cry and beg for you to return and promise to treat you right, but do not be taken in by his pleas. Consult his therapist before deciding on moving in with him. Even if you do reconcile with him, keep your eyes open for the abusive men signs to resurface, as this is a deep-rooted trait that is difficult to get rid of.

 

6. Sex Mistakes Women Make

 

 

Ladies, be honest: when your sex life becomes a little humdrum, out comes the mental catalogue of all the ways your partner isn’t quite measuring up.  Guys tend to get a bad rap when it comes to understanding women’s bodies and what turns us on, making them easy targets in the blame game when sexual satisfaction starts to wane.  And sure, they make their fair share of bedroom errors. But as the saying goes, it takes two to tango. As it turns out, top sex and relationship experts say that women make plenty of sex mistakes of their own.  Here’s what they have to say about the six most common mistakes women make in the bedroom and what you can do to get the satisfaction you so rightly deserve.

 

Sex Mistake #1: Not Initiating Sex With Your Partner

Many of us worry about ladylike behavior.  We don’t want to appear pushy or come on too strong for fear of being labeled aggressive. According to Les Parrot, professor of psychology at Seattle Pacific University and author of a new book called Crazy Good Sex, failing to initiate sex is one of the biggest mistakes women make.
“Most guys feel like they are always the initiator and that sets up disequilibrium on the passion scale in the relationship,” he says.  Generally, men want to be pursued by their partners just as much as women do.
Holding onto outdated ideas about sex roles also inhibits satisfaction with our sexual relationships, says "Dr. Ruth," aka Ruth Westheimer, PhD, a psychosexual therapist, professor at New York University, and lecturer at Yale and Princeton universities.  “They used to think that women are less interested in sexual activity and I don’t want to say that anymore. I think there are women who are as interested in sex [as men].”
Show your interest by taking the first step from time to time.  Your partner will likely appreciate it, and you may find a new level of satisfaction in taking responsibility for your sexual experience, something Westheimer feels strongly women must do.

Sex Mistake #2: Worrying About What You Look Like

Thinking about how you look during sex stops you from enjoying yourself and ruins your chances of achieving an orgasm.
“Don’t think about the fat on your belly or the makeup on your face,” advises Westheimer.  “
Concentrate on the pleasure of the act.  You must give yourself permission to have an orgasm.”

 

Sex Mistake #2: Worrying About What You Look Like continued...

“It’s amazing what men don’t notice if you’re enthusiastic, energetic, interested in them, and flexible minded.”

According to Fisher, there is an evolutionary explanation for the selective blindness men show to our physical flaws. For Darwinian reasons, says Fisher, men are (unconsciously, of course) looking for women who are able to bear healthy babies.  Starting millions of years ago, men who attracted fertile women and had a lot of children lived on. Those who couldn’t died out.  Although maybe not as necessary today, Fisher says that primal survival mechanism lives on.

“Men are much more attracted to women who show signs of health and youth and fertility.  Rather than worry about the shape of your waist and hips, worry about your energy level and enthusiasm and interest in him,” Fisher advises.

Sex Mistake #3: Assuming Sex Is Casual for a Man

Westheimer believes we should all let go of old-fashioned notions, such as women are not sexual or that sex is just sex to men.  “For some men, sex is a very important act.  Don’t minimize it.”
The research, says Parrott, supports the idea that both men and women find sexual intimacy in the context of a committed relationship to be more satisfying.
“Numerous research studies make it very clear that the people who have the best quality and most frequent sex are married couples. That says a lot about the inadequacies of ‘casual sex,” Parrot says.
In a study being conducted by Fisher and her colleagues of university students engaging in one-night stands, the numbers show that men are just as serious about sex and relationships as women.  In fact, more than 50% of women and 52% of men who went into a one-night stand, according to Fisher, reported that they did so hoping to create a longer relationship.  One-third of them actually did so.  What’s the lesson?
“Never assume that a man is not romantic,” Fisher says. “Two huge mistakes in this culture are that women are not sexual and that men are not as romantic [as women].”

Sex Mistake #4: Believing He’s Always Up for Sex

Sure, most teenage boys are ready and willing just about any time you ask, but not true for men.  The pressures of everyday life -- family, work, bills -- can zap a man’s libido.  This comes as a big surprise to many women, and often his lack of interest in sex is something we take personally.
“It comes as such a shock [to women] that they just don’t believe it,” Fisher says about the reaction many women have when their partner says they aren’t in the mood for sex. “They know themselves that they are not always interested in sex but they still love the man.  But when they discover he doesn’t want to have sex, they think, ‘he doesn’t love me.’  Not true.  He just doesn’t want to have sex.”

 

Sex Mistake #5: Not Giving Him Guidance

Talking very directly about sex, what we like and don’t like can make us feel uncomfortable, even with a partner we’ve been with for a long time and otherwise feel close to, says Parrott. But it’s the only way to achieve a satisfying sexual relationship. 

“A woman must take responsibility for her sexual encounter,” says Westheimer.  “No man can bring a woman to orgasm if she doesn’t take responsibility for her sexual experience.  Even the best lover can’t know what she needs without her letting him know.”
The good news, according to Fisher, is that men very much want to please women.
“If you can tell them in a way that doesn’t kill their ego, they will appreciate it,” says Fisher.  She advises women to sandwich what they don’t like in between five things they do, because he’s listening.  “You won’t find out until the next time you’re in bed with him.  But men do listen, particularly if you’re quite clear about it.”

Sex Mistake #6: Getting Upset When He Suggests Something New

After a couple has been together for a while, it’s natural to want to spice things up with a little variety.  Just because your man wants to try something new doesn’t mean he’s unhappy with you or your sex life.  In short: Don’t take it personally.
Still, it’s important that you tune into your comfort zone says Parrott.
“Nobody should ever feel obligated to do something they don’t want to do in the personal and intimate area of sexuality,” Parrott says.  “If your man asks you about trying something that’s outside of your morals, make it clear that it’s off limits for you and explain why.  Of course, do this in a loving way as best you can.  If it is something that is not really a moral issue for you but you still don’t want to, again explain why.  If it is a simply a startling request and you’re initially uneasy about it, try not to overreact.  Instead, let him know you need some time to think about it.”